46.1

gifts from my mother :

90% of lyrics to 90's country radio =

     forever memorized
a penchant for station wagons
a commitment to not rot on the vine —

   🍇 critical thinking

   🍇 spirituality

an aversion to the 

    word

    role

    ceremony making one a * wife *

a full-on domestic wheelhouse
v conversational w/ strangers


teacher : i have work to do

    & i’m doing it
so keep teaching me
soaking up your nurture
fill my tank, teacher 


if i woke up her :

i'd take off the mask

    face it all

    pull-back, tuck

look & see

    "cataracts :

    inability to see ahead with joy

    dark future

    life is eternal and filled with joy."

        - louise hay 👼

i’d go to a treatment center spa place —
    get — you know —

    get tons of bodywork
    & get into therapy
        find a way to really get into it all
be curious about the mechanics of life
+

trousers

+

tops

+
a hand-carved wooden walking cane
fiber arts revival / rehab thru quilting demons

aging & the beverly hills of it all :

a remnant from the hollow years
    botched under-eye filler dissolved

broken talons untouched through the XC move
    ! shape up !
15 minute chair massage

     4 the thing living in my back


this also means :

i should learn how to quilt
health is my new vice


*


dreaming of eels, maroon & yellow

they keep outgrowing their tanks

want to be together in a realllly big tank

wait, that doesn't work either

separate & larger; them / their tanks

they won't stop growing

how to re-wild domesticated eels ?

overthinking it, stop it

there are no tops on the tanks

they will figure it out

never was your problem


*


tom, my shamanic practitioner, does psychic surgery, removing the wet concrete creature & its tentacles wrapped around my 2nd chakra; tendrils up into my ear drums, into the hinge of my jaw — never was my belief system, no matter how deep inside it was shoved; pumped; swallowed; to love is to witness without the weight of what i would do, as that is what i have asked to experience; agency shines …. Slithers


to work is to generate aligned ideas

requires desire & exchanging energy

while the sun is my teacher, tom is an excellent light-worker :

artoftheshaman@gmail.com