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He yells at me a lot. He's punishing me and has been. This is not how adults speak to one another, guys; please don't rationalize this. Don't normalize it. I'm sorry you have heard this.

It's too obvious, but I woke up knowing that he wouldn't yell at me if I had a male spouse figure in my life. In his life code, he couldn't.

This is how cycles keep going. You run to another to shield you from the other. I haven't done that with this. I have explored and have learned so much about myself. Dating as an adult is such an untapped school of spirituality. I do believe growth is possible in a committed union, though it's not something I see often, nor something that was modeled for me. Perhaps only the opposite, just sinking, sinking into one way.

Opening so much space; more than ever before. What will happen next?