Thursday, June 29, 2023

68 ~ > * ) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

     🍯 ~ > *~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We managed to turn the drive to Annapolis for a colonic into a philosophical family discussion. That Bay Bridge taking us higher. Well-mannered kids in the waiting room while Mom gets it done. I love it. The afterwards, cool and pulsing inside stays with me for hours. Nothing's too deep if it's true. Belly of my beasts. I could feel the water travel around to the end. Over and over. Cleaning house gets me off so you can imagine these five feet rinsed out and out again. You. Inspired by the allure of clean endings. Me. Going back for more, colonic. Anal loving ex-orcism right as the heart gets pumping again with a two-week fitness jump-start thanks to the generative energy of boys. Realizing how much I've worked out (of) my heart this past year. I thought I was holding still but I was growing stronger dissolving from one thing into a whole other™ Pump the wings out and up. Expanding into who we are. Or at least enough so to stay to stay the course. Endurance when growing is hott. I want to have my hottest body. These changes are taking physical shape.
one-year-old blog doesn't even capture half of It, but I have been faithfully digesting crap that comes from before this lifetime and this one to date. Getting all caught up *enoughand finally filed my taxes and dissolved Front Room Gallery, paid off the grifters and am slowly designing my studio barn / home-sex-gym-spa. I understand energetic imprints.

I believe the key hims involved with all of this will realize he's been awful in ways he always shoved to my side of the street. gIRL mess is a wrap and I will work to see what comes from the transcribed lectures in addition to my hope spark, fresh and new. The masculine cannot deflect all his garbage and pretend like he doesn't see It glowing back at him. Radio / Active / Beacon in the night sky, a pace setter for the hers. We're different in our sameness. Everybody needs love. Find where the love fits. Be accountable. Do your own work. Henceforth I  admit how hurt I was because I was brave enough to feel sharp fragments crack open, off, return to Mother Earth. Closets are gardens, perhaps fermenting heaps of What Has, or What Will. Fulcrum points of energy loops snapping shut Click a strong jawed bite as the snake eats his own tail, snakes it up his own gutt→butt. Take Itt honey.

 1" of fluff off the ends 

 callus eating booties 

 dust the baseboards 

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Monday, June 26, 2023


l o n d o n
f o g

2 R 0

his fav mug

steep 1 tea bag
just a few inches of hot water
just a minute

- the bag

froth the milk you love your way

+ the froth

dribble farm honey?
perhaps a touch of culinary lavender?
if not,

pairs well with
climbing the highest peak
in the coldest region

to be rewarded with

The Graduate

he likes to game in the kitchen
upon a bottle top stool
sipping the official
SonClub latté

you can ice It


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Friday, June 23, 2023

Check Out

Check Out Receipt

Talbot - Easton

Friday, June 23, 2023
12:36:16 PM

Item: 33536001664998
Title: Japanese accents in
Western interiors

Due: 7/21/2023

Item: 33536002908501
Title: Jessica McClintock's
simply romantic decorating
creating elegance and
intimacy throughout your

Due: 7/21/2023

Item: 33536003603788
Title: Soulspace : creating a
home that is free of clutter, full
of beauty, and inspired by you

Due: 7/21/2023

Item: 3356001515620
Title: Window chic
Due: 7/21/2023

Item: 33536003663865
Title: The valkyries : an
encounter with angels

Due: 7/21/2023

Item: 33536003487521
Title: The truth about psychics
Due: 7/21/2023

Total items: 6

You just saved $110.94 by
using your library.

Thank You!



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Monday, June 19, 2023



 spinach herb tortilla, toasty warm

⚐ slather of refried black beans

⚐ egg your way (sonny-side-up)

⚐ big spoonful of miso carrot kimchi

⚐ cilantro clippings

shake of black pepper

⚐ faint squeeze of lime

⚐ wrap it up

pair with cold brew hibiscus tea
    over ice!
    in a new thermos cup from your mom
    with a stainless steel straw
        like a boss (baby)


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Wednesday, June 14, 2023



wipe fingers here
favorite dish towel


Tuesday, June 13, 2023



⚐ 2 perfectly ripe avocados

a small red onion
    or 1/2 of a decently sized 1

⚐ a lemon or 1 1/2 limes

⚐ cilantro

rough chop the red onion

    place in your serving bowl

slice the avocados in half

    squeeze onto the red onion

squeeze the lemon or lime(s) over the avocado

    mash up with a fork

        keep it rough

snip lots of cilantro

    mix it in

no seasoning required, but u do u

pair with ▼RedHotBlues

wipe fingers on favorite dish towel


Sunday, June 11, 2023


The Ashes of Drafts
exactly 1 month ago

Old Sole Sandwich of Emotional Sobriety



le pain

Ro is ten and about to graduate from the 5th grade. Our feet are the same size. I looked it up, and a youth size 5 is the same length as a women's size 7. I have worn a size 7 shoe since the 7th grade. Seventh grade is the last time I grew in height as well. I was and am 5 foot, 4 and a half inches tall, although I say five-five 4 ease. Ro is 4 foot 11.

Ro is a tense, in many ways, young man. I have rubbed his feet and body since he was small; his brother's too. Ro is loudly dramatic, emotes all sorts of sounds during, then after curls in my lap where I stroke his ears like he's a kitten-boy. He's my baby. And he has always been a serious guy.

On the rub above ⌃ I used a little jar of Dragon Balm, picked up when I last saw my NYC herbalist. The packaging is way chic. Ro said his heels were what really hurt, and they often do, he'll walk on tippy toes, though I felt the knot stemming from the ball of his foot. Up and under the ball, most inside there. I massaged with icy-hot as much as he would allow before tucking him into his makeshift bed on the floor. No cots available here. Shea will do anything to sleep beside me whereas his brother likes his space. So I washed my hands to play with Ro's hair and be gentle-gentle on his ears before a night next to Shea, super kitten-like.

Fear of the future
and of not stepping forward in life.

"I move forward in life,
with joy and with ease."

You Can Heal Your Life
by Louise Hay

The night I snapped these shots ⌃ we were in Los Angeles, at a SureStay close to the boys' baseball practice park. Ro said it's called SureStay because people leave the park and say, with some sense of defeat, "Sure, I'll stay here." We stayed there to test locational convenience > all else — testing a theory for my inevitable (part-time?) return. Would-We-Could-We rent a dumpy Dingbat Apartment within walking distance of their private school in The Valley? Morning smoothies 2go and A Regular Mom wearing stretch pants? This Mom would meditate at the school chapel before the student (parents welcome) morning service. A quick power walk home carrying three dirty 2go cups. The Dingbat would have to have a pool to combat roasting alive. One thing might lead to another and maybe I would submit to being who their father thinks he wants me to be when I am being A Los Angeles Mom. Antidepressants and a desk job is doable, or it's not. I could spend my entire salary on childcare thanks to asinine school and baseball schedules.

The writer's strike was and is still going on. A group of striking writers marched outside of Television City holding signs asking all the cars to "HONK IN SUPPORT". Much honking, next to the park and across from the SureStayⓇ, ceasing at 5:00 PM on the ⏺

HooooonK H00000nK just like the geese I saw as my first heroic dose of mushrooms kicked in. I heard these geese before I saw them in the sky. I prayed, show me you, please let me see you, as some sign "I GOT THIS". Yes, spied in a clearing through the trees, thank you. And when I looked down again I spotted a real marigold who had sprouted up inside the enclosed garden. The  had not been there in the morning. A day of the dead converging with a night flight home is pretty cool stuff.

I share energy karma with Ro. Hypervigilance like a crazy person that I forget about until it stares back at me. This is how your son feels. This is his tightness. You must work harder to absolve the root pain. The shape-shifting fire seems to jump onto the Eastern European thrifted (long) frock I wore as ceremonial garb. Real ticks climbed aboard my sinking ship (pooling).

"Am I on fire?"
"Only on the inside," answered Luar. He was night flight tripping with me as a guide. Gunshots and dog barks freaking as the light faded in the country.

We sat in a circle on his partner Lydia's land. Daughter & Father & Mother per design of the set & setting. "Lydia, do you have a fire extinguisher?" She laughs, "I'm a run with scissors gal." Grip less and surrender more to the apocalypse only after Spirit reminds me I bought menopausal Iris her first automobile fire extinguisher for any please-no hot flashes — and Iris is dutifully parked close by, at my back. "Go off," she nudges. Chemical-glazed, bug-laden. All of me and everywhere putrid. All the bugs killed from pesticides. My embroidered hemline smoking. They said I held myself as still and quiet as anything.

I scheduled 🍄🍄🍄🍄🍄 before my last boy-time visit in Los Angeles and imbibed after, a weepy heap exhausted with carrying panic everywhere I go and back and forth all year. Feeling poisoned by 1 place and seeking the antidote in the other, but that cannot be right or is it? Put it down, for Ro. Sabbatical midterms in the Virginian backwoods. I passed and get to go for 126 more days.

2 Sandwiches I Enjoyed A Lot
On My Latest Boy-Time Visit in Los Angeles
despite the heavy backpack labeled PANIC

Cold Meatloaf Sandwich
cheesy meatloaf
sliced and topped with caramelized onions
iceberg lettuce
and our special 10,000 lakes dressing
on country white bread

Spiced Tofu Banh Oui
crispy marinated tofu
chickpea spread
pickled carrot
pickled Fresno chili
served on a French roll

P.S. Ro graduated wearing a beautiful medium blue suit with a pale blue shirt that we picked out together, and navy Vans size 6! purchased with dad. He said Vans run small, so they're the size equivalent to Nike's size 5 1/2, and his dad got him a fresh pair of those too. Ro has already packed them for his summer with me and Shea in Maryland. Gorgeous barn cat-boys.

u can heel ur life

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