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Living in the space where the biggest boulder shifted and the dampness is prime for germination. Shall sprout after a bit of sun. I don't think they're creepy, but they will crawl away. Some prefer darkness over light. This truth provokes balance if we can sit with it. See ourselves in it. Sit integration. In meditation: Stillness is growth.

Unconditional (self) love. Work that works. This work is mothering turned inside-out. We can know a thing, and then we can really Gr❂w > G❁ > Kn❀w > Sh✿w

DATA > INFORMATION > KNOWLEDGE > WISDOM

I moved it

Aware of the shadow

One thing leads to another

Rungs of a ladder, or leaves on a twisting vine
Thick stalk, but I'm not horny, u r

☉FL*WER

sunflower

I remember being so self-conscious about my stretched out postpartum bellybutton when I started taking lovers. Each new lover licked it, lapped it up like they needed it. They do. We all crave getting back to the place where it seemed to start. Under the scab, in the jelly.

☉

Searching for my treasure, I work with omens. There's usually a symbol I use as a mile marker, a sign that I'm on the 'right' path. These symbols pick me. For a long time it was a star (lunar). Then it was a butterfly. Next a yellow taxi cab. And, at the airport, I realize it's now a sun with rays. Runshine. Mothersons.

Man in lounge in sweatshirt with painted sun on left shoulder. Man seated next to me, ball cap with embroidered sun. Driving, they're everywhere. Man darts into traffic wearing full sunflower sweatsuit. Correlated extension. Walking and more, everywhere. In Los Angeles, but this is something. Morning writing this at Silverlake coffee shop. Barista wearing Grand Canyon sweatshirt with large sun shining across the divide. Woman walks in with different sun-embroidered ball cap.

Mothering and the expectations on mothering are the wound from our orbiting womb boulder, all take and no give, no flexibility unless you are a bad bad bb. Something here about shining a light / solar power / divine masculine as if it's all that simple BUT CAN IT BE

?

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FLUUUUU 4 DAZE

So hot I shake with chills. Legs drip sweat. Rivers behind knees, between legs. Head hurts. Lots. Top of head wants to be cut out. I feel a black sun sitting on my crown chakra. Black sun throbbing relentlessly. Pulsating like the refrigerator buzzing throughout this concrete home. I'm crashing. Soaking up the off-ness? Shedding too. I work to send light up through the black sun, my head, crown. I want to lift it up, take it off, open it up. Can barely move. I hallucinate extra when I'm sick like this. But I break through the center. A channel. The dark spikes remain. I think they're supposed to. The universal language spans the spectrum, and mothering, at least they insist, is loving unconditionally. Who?

I come to + cum 2 knowing =

LOS ANGELES HAS BEEN TRYING TO TEACH ME THE NECESSARY DARKNESS

Thx U other teacher I've dissed hard + maybe have a crush on cos I do that