44

Lots of productivity and contentment, linked but not totally, and my neck is stiff. Layer up with tea-to-go to walk the quarter mile track. I've timed the loops to catch the sun setting, and the moon is already out. Tracking polarities, back-and-forth, loosens up my neck quite a bit. This side-to-side, watching, contrasting but not comparing is a helpful stretch. Head into the belly of my neighborhood to walk till the sky goes purple. Bring in firewood. Roast beets, tossing in the greens at the end, add to the yellow rice after snagging an oily clove of garlic.

e

a

r

l

i

e

r

*

to do today when it's raining
& this house makes me happy

* lying in bed the sounds send me back to sleep for an hour

* note my cycle so light — nothing much left to release right now

* right shoulder tight; feel him so intensely & yet none of it matters, in the highest expression, it all just is — How do i say this ? — this is I T 

* like when i went 'home' last week for the first time in years, their home, i watched them, i get it, no problem, even though it's super fucked up

* i do see

* make SP juice

* wipe down the counters, something that cuts schmear

* close CA business to open another, lessons learned

* braid hair like MADONNA @ YSL SEX basel nonsense 

* flirt

* momentum is real, go honey, keep allowing one thing 2 lead 2 another

* oh, & i know what this concept of WHORESEX is now : )

* not sex, but came through sex; last times & this thing i like to do . . .

    * * how to demarcate room4more 

          w/ a line in the s a n d_________

@}-,-‘–

FRESH START

USE WHAT U GOT*

1SUNRISE DRIVE
@}-,-‘–

LOOK1@}-,-‘–

vintage suede fringe jacket

vintage babydoll nightie

vintage overdyed sweats via SCOUT

KHAITE boots

LOOK2@}-,-‘–

vintage JNY trench w/ wool liner zipped out

Tibetan pashmina as top

x's thrifted denim tailored to my form

5y.o. strappy Manolos

LOOK3@}-,-‘–

vintage yellow skirt suit would steam & will tailor

vintage top

5y.o. strappy Manolos

LOOK4@}-,-‘–

vintage striped tee

gifted vintage tuxedo trousers

KHAITE boots

LOOK5@}-,-‘–

vintage ribbon sweater

vintage 30's dress chopped into a top (not pictured) & skirt

vintage belt

KHAITE boots

LOOK6@}-,-‘–

vintage Anne Klein blazer

Victoria's Secret asymmetrical bodysuit

black Gold Toe dress socks

way old YSL ankle boots w/ semi-fresh laces

LOOK7@}-,-‘–

vintage jacket (u cannot see the cool frog closures)

thrifted fast fashion pants

KHAITE boots (into brown + black)

LOOK8@}-,-‘–

vintage nightie

-over a-

sex shop fishnet catsuit

(2 head out would pair w/ those strappy Manolos + JNY trench)

LOOK9@}-,-‘–

vintage 90's embossed suede blazer

thrifted Morgane Le Fay dress ($8!) 

(not to be confused w/ Morgan le Fay)  

KHAITE boots (so would <3 The Dallas in 3 colorways)

LOOK10@}-,-‘–

vintage fur hat

vintage 80's leather jacket

vintage 501s

KHAITE boots againª

11GOES@}-,-‘–

vintage metal clutch that fits both keys & cell (clutch) 

 

shot by my girl Natalie Stark

against a Laura Ashley sheet 

in my (4 now) courtyard

 

I styled these looks from my closet for an immediate art project (energy mover) and as part of a broader life art project (cycle ender). These were the fit pics for a scheduled studio shoot, but often in getting ready, you are already doing the thing.

Remember that you are deprived of nothing except by your own decisions, and then decide otherwise. 

🂱 A COURSE IN MIRACLES 🃁

17 ><(((º>

When I was in fashion school, I got dumped by this guy I'd been dating for a few months. It was nothing more serious than dinner once a week, but I was always sewing sew taking a weekly night off was kind of a big deal. Brady. Brady called me, totally freaking out, struggling to speak while spitting out that he wanted to change everything. Change everything in his whole life. But he couldn't, or didn't know how ? sew he told me I had to go. It's hard for me to remember exact wording unless those words deliver a lesson:

I can't change anything, but I can change you.

><(((taking a break from our my fish experimentº>

                    <ºthe micro of our macro)))><

Had this lover years back, when the urge to get an aquarium first struck. He talked me out of it — thought it would mess with my head to sea beings trapped in a glass room, too close to home when we were tip-toeing around our second floor duplex (feather feet). We're still friendly and he may teach me to trade when these kids are both finally back-to-school. It will be cool to have a wake-up-and-go hobby.

Tending to the flock. Numbers are proverbial fish with no tank to clean, no neighbor with a key charging ten dollars a day when I feel like get to go farming.

Had this other lover, also years back, who helped me connect obvious dots. Grew up like me, Pennsylvania too, and even though he was living in transition after leaving his fiancé and their shared home, he knew exactly where his things were and why they were there. The get-up-and-go if you hear trouble coming down the hallway does stay with you. You're out the window. Off.

    Just out of the marital home myself. Douchy but hot/hot actor/real estate agent with a motorcycle. We met on an app and I'm still wrapping my head around the fact that I just had a baby and have a toddler but get to have sex with strangers ? they know. They each kiss my stretched out bellybutton. Tongue kiss it trail down. Reckless perhaps, but I'm on the back and this is Mulholland where we're taking the curves. It's late and there's a full moon tonight. He slows to pull over and motions for visors up. Asks how I'm doing.

 Are you leaning away from the turns?

turns out you ride by leaning in

Work with the energy, however it comes to you and wherever it wants to take you. A home beautiful and orderly *to you* Possessions you *truly love and really need* You're ready to go when it's time to go because you're ready because you listen.

<ºbear or bull)))><    

 ><(((sink or swimº>

Live wires in my legs these nights. To fall asleep I envision myself as one of those blow up things at car dealerships. Big foot steady to let the wildness clear my core, neck, crown, wave goodbye. 

Now I'm lightheaded some afternoons, making me wonder if the energy is not leaving but moving into new parts of my brain ? a funny feeling buzzy behind my eyes. A friend recommends an eye check, good to get, but yeah, still 20/20.

Reading glasses in vintage frames. Buzzy legs an opportunity for late night stretching. Dizziness a daily reminder to hydrate and sit still for a bit. Taking the curves with more energy here-and-happening.

R4M

( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°)

three of cups