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Hump Day school skippers, the boys and I spent 12 hot hours at Disney popping our SoCal pimple. Shouldn't have picked at It but It throbs. A throbbing spot that dares: release me + u want 2. And release feels good 2. To scream. A name. So you squeeze and you have to keep on squeezing. Hands up, screaming, 3 times on the same ride. More keeps coming up. This is why we went there. Pop it, push It, leaning into all that has assaulted my aesthetic et cetera et cetera sensibilities for just about a decade, 10 whole years of my life, one quarter. This, Here, is all my boys know. To them this is The Real World. Extreme wealth normalized. Men acting as deciders. Women wearing someone else's hair, implanted et spandexed, doing the PTA. To please exactly who or whom? Cast Members: what Disney calls their costumed line operators. Cast Members: performing, dividing, conquering, consuming. Divide and conquer roles, like stepmothers with little chalkboards, those single use plastic snacks listed out 🍎 

 Smile :) Every1 is Watching 

I've lived in Los Angeles throughout my 30's. Los Angeles and my 30's are strange realms of Hell interwoven to the point of melding. I'll never know one without knowing the other. Melded, sulfuric, smelling like roasting pain, so I do wonder what drives everyone to keep building on top of the temporal? I tried to sink in. Bought the biggest couches ever. Added big upholstered armchairs; a bigger brick red bed. The movers got the stuff out, just like, It’s no big deal.

I'm camping on the floor for a few days. The futon is fine = good enough; the drawn out goodbye, not so much. I will attend a gothic pagan wedding and then fly through the night 🧹 :)

Still grounded, I place my hands, my forehead, on the walls and I say Thank You. Wrapping up loose ends, knowing that's not true either. Thank You: house, homes, town, people in the town, even mean people super sunk into this town. No plan, but thinking I'll establish my own sink-whole HQ, then dip a toe back in !! 2 choose 4 yourself !! hence why the tastiest spring water is on pause, because I will dip a bachelor toe back in and await the sucking. Or how about, suckling? (We added an L as in Love is...)

Dirty dadi's been in a fiery place, singed by too much sun; by all too many fire drills. Numb to the unchanging tempo set by another. An anxious other, teaching anxiety, or exact-timing-story-telling. Feel into that White Rabbit my sons. 

And I'm tired.

Tired out Here, always moving, forever driving back & forth.

← ???WHAT'S YOUR ETA???? →

Did you know that there are 7 stages in the alchemical process ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

1. Calcination Villa
2. Dissolution Treehouse
3. Separation Castle House
4. Conjunction Nest
5. Fermentation The Foundation
6. Distillation
7. Coagulation

My baby tells me I smell different

       Bountiful, crossing this finish line for the next

Not this year, but next (SEASONS) I'll begin a new tradition of Nocino at the holidays + scented vinegar for washing windows. Let's play out the upcoming step by stepmother metaphors. Let's make use of the green walnuts falling from the black walnut trees, lining the driveway of the farmhouse 👻 while it still stands. Ro really needed to wait in line for the Haunted Mansion, 10 hours deep into that long, hot day. For over 90 minutes, I witnessed the Why prompting the What. I got What you're looking for 🍯

☆ ????WHERE R U GUYS??? ☆☆

In the packing inventory, there were 7 pieces of ceramic yard art * * * * * * *

1. Large eclipse
2. Large sun
3. Large moon
4. Medium sun
5. Medium moon 
6. Small sun
7. Small moon

Small sun and moon (again, 6 & 7 await) were unknowingly glued to the exterior of the house. They were hung up high; earthquakes. I couldn't get them down, nor could my tall brother, and the movers didn't try. Thus 5 were packed and after, the other 2 were coaxed down. The sun lost a ray that I plan to glue on. The sharp ray sliced open my right palm. Don't read into It, but you're right, you know.

The sun and the moon are in the car I once planned to drive over. Turns out, I'm driven out *and* 2 people had bad visions on the same day. William has them, wrapped in bedding, in Iris, in his covered transport, so let's see what happens.

The old grain barn needs a paint job, but just may settle for some crazy glued panache. And a ballet bar — a looooooong 1 —