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City Keds washed. Walking into town for an ice cream wearing three different shades of what's technically still white. No undies on to dare my late cycle to come. I wear anything around here. That's how I know I'm Home. Within me. Out here. And then there’s my teeth. Shade four. Missed my cleaning on Wilshire, a short walk from Los Angeles home #4: Nest. Boy was the receptionist saucy about it all. Sorry I live in Maryland man. Have referred so many patients to you and it's okay, I’ll find a cleaning over on this coast. Take a big bite. HQ in all the ways. First mammogram in October. Umpteenth pap. Saw a dermatologist today. Systems. Gotta mix in a pedicure. Veggies for the juicer when I pick up a rare Rx. Eggs and english muffins, my staples. Get up and work and then that 11am breakfast sandwich hits the spot. I’ll eat and drink anything but don’t often do prescriptions. Messy violent doctor and nurse ruled the roost but honestly I am over all of that. This year was the year. My year of feeling all my feelings. There will be more and they will be new. Mom and Dad are moving a town over from Easton. New construction on the water. Dad asked me to go take a look at the place, give him my read. I like it. Have ideas. A good house for a dog and a nice neighborhood to start biking again. Work on his gut. Dad's getting a bike and a dog. We'll have this talk, but if he ever hurts that dog, I'll raise a ruckus. Forgive and forget, forgetting just enough not to be an idiot. Our poor dog growing up. All of us, but me and that dog took it hard. Terrified me when I had to take Adley on his walk, b a d Adley, short for Adirondack. He grew more unhinged over the years, and of course he did. When Dad had to put him down, he buried his ashes under a tree in the backyard and drank a bottle of vodka sobbing. Wouldn't come in for dinner. Love is a confounding force of nature that I'll never stop wanting to know more about. An engineer wants to know how everything works. So here. My left hip* has been sore for quite some time. During what’s left of this alchemical sabbatical, I’m aiming to reverse all bodily habits to the other side. The patterns I catch. Hold the phone in my right hand, so holding it in my left. Put the phone in my right back pocket, so in my left. Cross one leg over the other. Wait, no, the other. Things like that. Criss cross apple sauce reversed for eyes closed. That’s how it goes but balance isn’t harmony even though seeking said balance promotes harmonic calibration. Until I loose it days back into the Los Angeles school year. Or I won't. Hand rolls and new ideas. The radio<3 Art theaters with cocktails<3 Spiritual rewrites.

In town to order one scoop of Mocha Toffee Crunch in a cup. Not what I thought I would get. Tricky to not pick the yet unscooped flavor, such a freak like that. Try to look away when they shake the water off the scooper. Sit in the square and write the above. Stroll home to edit my world’s longest manuscript. Class ended a few weeks ago. I was a good gIRL mess and transcribed 19 lectures (2 x 9 + 1 bonus car class) + other odds and ends that I have to deal with now. I’m not awesome at finishing, anything. AND change promotes, provokes, devotes change! This blog made it thru a whole year, most deserving of an imaginary holiday. I roasted beets this afternoon, red and golden with four cloves of smashed garlic and tonight had some of them over good pasta with lots of parsley and a little bit of grated honey gouda. The local grocery store put out all these little tastes of cheese, packaged for sale, portioned for single shoppers. Nice cheeses, imported slivers wrapped for a dollar or two. Precious, so a bit of a random dinner with that cheese, or better yet, cheese with that dinner, but worked. But. I bit the inside of my lip bad. Left some crunch in those roasted beets and walking home I keep sucking on the bite mark. The cold ice cream made it feel better and now I'm sucking the salty blood in my sticky mouth. Makes me conjure dirty thoughts 2. and others, like how honestly amazing it is that anything heals. You’ll have this persistent ache or pain and 1. day you forget about it because it’s not there anymore. The forgetting — or the gone? Chicken or the egg SANDWICH? I'm not yet famous for my breakfast sandwiches. This not yet patented technique of melting salted butter in the cast iron skillet. Split the muffin and crack an egg in between. Cooking create an accordion primed for inserts. Leftover roasted beets, still with some crunch, chew careful. Parsley, avocado, and carrot kimchi. No sheep's milk honey gouda this morning after milk in my twin cappuccinos. And ice cream tonight. I'm a farmer.

Home. Bins in. Hands washed. Pitcher of lemon water. I’m bleeding so it worked. Mom, I'm so sorry, but magic is real. It's hard to be a human and impossible to be a woman (proof: watch Barbie) but I do like my cycle. I like the compassion circles create. I hang up all the clothes that are down after the coming and going from the city. I gambled, washing a dry clean only piece only to loose the bet. I'll still wear it. It being a jacket covered with fish with button eyes. The hot pink trim was the red herring. Scoop of magnesium into the bottom of a fresh glass, pour over the lemon water and chug. Refill. Chug. Refill 4. bedside. Shitter. Have the second tv perched in my bedroom for summer movie nights with the boys and right now realize my go-to hang out position is semi-reclined with my left hip splayed. Jupiter's expansion, legs making the number 4, but shit that's the source of the pain. Le Pendu. Gotta knock that off because this left hip needs a breather or it shall keep shooting pain waves down my left leg. A nuisance on trains and planes. I wake up throughout the night realizing I sleep all left hip open. Have I done this since I was a baby? A declared intent of mine is to partner with a badass body worker when back in Los Angeles. Survival vs. HQ. My body needs way more body work than I give to her. I've been keeping her juiced up though. Another hot party trick is to buy a real watermelon and scoop all the flesh from the rind and blend it with a few ice cubes. Pretty, tasty. sets you right. 

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

Los Angeles is my faithful friend.

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

My body luvs life in Los Angeles!

Serious Synchronicity Smoothes

Shit. I write with my left foot perched up on the chair. Learning to write during pandemic homeschooling all my jeans split under the left cheek and I wasn't sure why just that side when both sides of my bum look proportionate in the mirror. It's so not the same on the other side.